Dream 1: I was in a very dark room. I realized I was with my sister, and we were by the confession-room where a Catholic priest, whom my sister respected, awaited us. My sister asked me to deliver him a folio full of papers as thanks for a service he did her in the past. I entered the dark room. In it, there was a robust desk, perhaps Victorian style, a room divider, similar to the one I had in my studio apartment in Washington DC, and books. The priest asked me for my confession. I said I brought him a folio from my sister. He talked to his female assistant, that also looked like my sister, though I don’t remember her face. He said that he had said too many times already that people should not bring him stuff, even as a gift, and only come visit him for confessions. I insisted, and he took the folio and stored it next to his other books. He requested a confession from me, but I said I had none. I personally did not have anything to confess, and it was only because of the weird circumstances that I was there that day. I asked him about his book, and he replied that he will die and still that book wouldn’t have changed. I think he was referring to the Bible. My sister was behind me, and ready for confession.

Dream 2: I was at the University cafeteria. The place was packed with students. I was sitting at a table, and then moved away. I had to return because I had forgotten my eye glasses. The table was occupied already by other students, and I asked them if they saw any glasses. They asked me how they looked like, and I couldn’t remember if I had my dark glasses, or the regular ones. An old high school friend, her name is T, tried to assist me. We did not find any glasses. She took me to the thrash containers, and we were looking into a bag. Then, the dream changed, as I found myself working for a construction/waste disposal company. I helped some crew members lift a big concrete lid from the ground that revealed a subterranean chamber with some containers/barrels, and what seemed like rubbish. The supervisor was teaching me how to sweep the stairs with a broom, since apparently I was doing it incorrectly. I never found the glasses. Was I wearing my normal glasses already all the time?

Dream 3: I stumble upon a hole in the ground that a bear had made. Me and some company were looking for another bear hole, since the first one was small. Then I saw bear footprints on the ground. Soon after that, I see the black bear digging a hole from the place his footprints were.

Interpretation: These three dreams are so different among themselves. Is it possible they are related in a certain way? Let’s start in order of appearance, and see if the riddle can be solved.

The first one takes place in a dark room, like in a Cathedral, with no lights, right after the sun sets… perhaps 6-7pm? Can this setting represent my unconscious, just outside the reach of the light of consciousness? Here, there’s a whole drama played out where my sister (whom I’ve seen too many times recently in other dreams) is an anima personality that tells me what I should do: confess my sins to the priest! Is the priest a representation of a father figure, and perhaps my unconscious part of my super-ego? He is a figure whom my sister respects, and admires (my sister is a devout Catholic in real life. She had converted to the religion a few years ago). Personally, I had lost my feelings of submission to any religion long time ago. However, at the same time, my sister and I grew up together, under the same religious background . In my dream though, we both are initially in the church chambers… as if I also desired to be there. Through an act of trickery, under the pretext of doing my sister a favor, I stood in front of the priest for confession. My sister must have known the rules, and it is corroborated when the priest’s assistant looks like my sister too. What’s in the folio? Perhaps a list of all of my sins I must confess? I don’t recall, in waking life, anything for which I feel guilty, and I often say that guilt is not a negative emotion I suffer from. But, could it be shame? I know I’ve done way too many things that are outside of what most people consider “good,” or perhaps more importantly: what I grew up with that was considered “good.” Am I suffering then from unconscious feelings of shame or guilt?

The priest requests a confession, but I remain neutral, and could not really recall any confessions. The priest is not interested in forcing me to speak. He just says “I will live and die, and that book will never change.” Was he referring to the Bible, and therefore the Christian Catholic tradition of which my ancestors, and the West in its greatest part belong to? Was he also referring to the things I’ve done in the past, and that are stamped in the rock of times-past? My attitude, however, was the same one I have towards my biological father: indifference.

In the second dream, I lost my glasses, and therefore I might not be able to “see something” that I should see. Another anima figure helped me look for the glasses that were most likely in the rubbish! In the dumpster of my unconscious? Of course I won’t find them in the world of public affairs, the every-day life of a university student full of vanity. Later in the dream, I’m working on an underground storage room (the unconscious?), and it is difficult for me to lift the concrete lid up (by removing my resistances?). The supervisor has me cleaning it, but I’m not doing it right (my broom is upside-down, and I sweep left to right, but he instructs me to do it straight and right to left?). I think this dream is telling me that I’m not done with the “cleaning of the stables,” and perhaps because it is an activity that must needs be done routinely, or because I did not complete my work, as I thought. In any case, cleaning might also refer to purifying myself. Are the containers and barrels within with all of my sins, and old stuff that needs to be cleaned out, organized, etc.? Must I do it right to left, or in other words: bringing in more conscious focus into the unconscious mind? Am I doing it all wrong, I mean, my self-analysis?

The third dream has to do with digging, which is also another analogy of going into the unconscious, into the earth! The first hole is not enough… it is too small! Perhaps it is my first hole when I started psychoanalysis two years ago? Do I have to go deeper this time? Perhaps the way I’m doing it right now is too reckless, digging incomplete holes, and starting again? Is the bear representing me, in my animalistic, thoughtless essence, digging holes for no reason, or goal, or seriousness in mind? The bear is, of course, a representation of my instinctive life. This is what I will encounter if I keep following its footprints, that is, my dreams. The confrontation with the bear who is doing the digging, who is creating all the holes, perhaps meaning all the different neurosis or emotional-complexes. All of them come from the bear in me. Perhaps?

Conclusion: In the first dream, I’m in a religious establishment, a church. It is implied, as guided by my anima figure, my sister, that I need to confess. Not confessing does not change things, does not change the past, does not change whatever Laws of the Universe I’m subject to. The Old Wise Man archetypal figure also provides me with this insight. On the second dream, I’m in a more secular situation: university and/or a work establishment. It seems like there are things unknown to me that I cannot see (I do not have the proper instrument to see them, my eye-glasses). Likewise, I’m unable to sweep the floor correctly. Perhaps, I must clean my mind first, some sort of mental hygiene (that I haven’t been having in conscious/real life at the moment) before accessing the barrels of different contents in my unconscious. I’m either interpreting my dreams wrong or interpreting them right but not integrating them into my life. It also seems like there’s more within me that needs to be explored. There’s waste, there’s perhaps, toxic material that needs to be treated, transmuted. Leaking them without proper hygiene can prove to be dangerous. Lastly, in my last dream, I’m in the wilderness. There’s a bear, my instinctual nature which does things regardless of my conscious attempts. There are things that are happening within my unconscious that are not willed by me. I’m tracing the source of all this, and what I encounter is my animal nature. Of course, it is a bear. A dangerous animal. It must be faced, perhaps tamed, but who has ever tamed a bear?

In short, it seems like my unconscious is storing material, either from times past or from recent times, perhaps it is trauma, or who knows. This is beyond my control. Whatever I have done caused in my mind a dent. I must clean and sweep the mess and maybe face the bear later. I must confess, perhaps. That would make of the psyche the source of morality (and why wouldn’t it be? why wouldn’t the science of ethics be based on the workings of the mind?). A confession would be, perhaps, the best way to clean my mind before I go down the other deeper materials of my nature. Not doing it properly would mean psychological disintegration (as I haven’t been doing so well these days). The risk is always delusion/repression/tenseness or egoity/ego-inflation.

Let us see what I do next. Or what I dream about next.

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