Dream 1: I was in an ex-classmates meeting, and I went down to the bar or cafeteria, and I encountered some university acquaintances. Then, I almost fall as I step on something on the floor. I sat by one of my classmate’s table. Then I encounter two or three guys that start fighting with me. We are fighting and punching each other. I run around the building, but they keep following me.

Then, I’m in the same building, and the class is about to start: I had signed up for a “masters degree”! I see my fellow classmates around a giant box full of, what seems to me stepper motors. They, of course, know what to do with them, but not me who has forgotten everything I studied 15 years ago!). Then, I encounter S, an ex-coworker at the bank (when I was a banker), also being part of the engineers team. As we were walking up some hall to my room, he tells me that he would help me not to get caught by the teacher. For some reason, he knows what’s on my mind: I will pretend as if I’m doing something, as if I know what the class is about, but will most likely drop off class by tomorrow. So he helps me avoid the teacher once or twice, and I make it to my room.

There, I’m working with some weird materials on a cardboard (see image bellow). I also have my own stepper motor. I go to the balcony in my room, and I see everybody else below working on the stepper motors project. I also see a plaza with other buildings, and one of them is “La Casa del Niño” (the children’s house), which is like a museum, or a non-for-profit institution that teaches art to kids (from my memories as a child in my country).

Then, some classmates get too close to me, and I’m afraid they will discover my secret inside, and my longing and curiosity for “La Casa del Niño” (this yearning is supposed to be a secret for some reason). So I enter my room, and lock the door from the inside. I start playing with the cardboard and some paintings. I start painting a beautiful work of art with the materials and some new colors. Suddenly, somebody opens the door, and on the other side, there are at least 4, if not 5, old women on a table. One of them walks inside, and they all wonder what am I doing. I’ve been discovered! She walks in and steps on my cardboard. They all start gossiping about me.

Dream 2: I’m in a foreign place, probably “Merida,” and I drive to the airport. The airport looks more like a pawn shop. The main entry has a gate with a sign that says “careful with the edge,” given that there’s a platform that raises from the ground in the right corner. I enter the place, and it looks like a money-exchange room, and there’s a big kiosk at the bottom. I go there and I inquire about buying copper. I looked at the price on my phone, and it says 80. I can’t see the price chart, or the currency denomination. They also have some gold bracelets, and I inquire about gold. The price is also 80. It is a less refined, junk kind of gold, I think, since it’s cheaper, and looks cheaper than purer gold. I think that buying gold is a better idea than buying copper, however, I only have $5,000, and I’m concerned about running out of money. So, I leave the place, and I’m still talking to the salesman on a video call. He keeps trying to convince me, as I enter into my car. I think he’s doing a good job as a salesperson, and I find him amusing. However, I decide not to buy, and thank him for the time… maybe next time. I’m on the back seat of my car, and my girlfriend is on the passenger’s.

Interpretation:

In waking life, during those times (in 2022), I was concerned about publishing my blog and worrying about what people would say, especially people from my past, at University, since they make my main following on social media (after the many years). I realized that part of my motivations, specially with my social media activity, is to get that attention and respect . There’s a lot of resentment in me. When I think about being discovered (in my vulnerability), I imagine my ex-classmates. It would be an event which would destroy my reputation somehow. This may explain why the conflict is with classmates at University in the dream.

The contents of my waking life are in absolute opposition to the contents of my unconscious past, as represented in the dream with the fighting boys.

Then, S knows I have a secret, but he does not care. He tells me he will help me not get caught. I associate him with my time as a banker, trying to gain “social recognition” through making money. He is a Used-Car salesman character of sorts. A shadow character in the dream.

Yet, from the balcony of my solitude, I see how everybody is working on their engineering projects that had to do with stepper motors, of which I already forgot how to use or program them; while I’m still afraid of being discovered, and of what they would say. I also see “La Casa del Niño,” which is a place I remember as a kid where my mom signed me up to on Saturdays to develop my artistic curiosity and complement my education. One of my memories is learning how to paint from their classes. In the dream, I’m very curious about what’s in there, and I’m happy that such a place exists… outside of the boring and mechanical engineering world. I only see everybody below focused on their projects, but not really happy. I knew that if I approached them, they would discharge their frustration on me.

As I felt threatened of being discovered, I retrieve into my room (I isolate myself even more), and start painting a work of art! It looks very ugly, even nasty at first, but then I start making of it something beautiful, and I pay careful attention to it. As I do that, I’m discovered by the old women. How did they open the door? I don’t know what they represent, but most likely “public judgement”? My secret has been discovered. I’m worried, but also relieved to a certain extent. I might have to come back to this part of the dream some time later, but I discover that being discovered is not that bad, and it is nothing but “old lady’s chatter.”

My secret is the painting, the work of art I’m making. The work of art may represent my wound, and how I utilize it to “make art out of it.” The watercolor mark the scar left by my previous wounds psychological. Most of the “ugliness,” or at least half, has been dissolved, and I’m making some art with whatever is left. However, there’s still another “ugly” red-color dripping part of the cloth (the wound) that is left, that may represent my current “unhealed” part. Does it have to do with my past at school/university? I wouldn’t be surprised since my experience was less than perfect.

The second dream takes place in a foreign place, Merida, not necessarily the south of Spain, but in the dream it is in some southern part (the unconscious), and I need to continue traveling. So I realized that if there’s something to do there, I rather do it now, or I would lose my chance. Just like I do dream-work right now, because I can now… tomorrow I don’t know. (as during those times in 2022 I was unemployed).

So, I enter the place, and it looks like a money-exchange or casino. I go to the bottom and encounter another “car salesman” character (he looks like a trader guy I watch on YouTube sometimes), and I inquire about copper, the cheapest commodity metal. Then I inquire about gold, but they have cheap bracelets made of “pure gold”, but in reality it is cheap gold.

A couple of years ago, I did my research on gold, and I discovered that the purest gold, 24K, is not found in nature, but needs to go through a refinement process. Natural gold is always mixed with baser metals as found on the Earth’s crust. So in my dream, “pure” refers to natural gold, just as you take it from the earth, but cheaper because it still has impurities. Therefore, though in real life pure gold refers to refined gold, whereas in the dream, pure gold means raw as extracted from the Earth. My interpretations are cheap, simply coloring the copper with gold, perhaps, and making some cheap bracelet thing from it. (LOL)!

The copper and the gold, then, are equivalents. If they come from the inner crust of my unconscious, they are coming in their raw, pure, essence: in the form of dreams. As of now, these dreams are simply dreams. My interpretations are short-sighted to say the least. I’m just writing what comes to me just to start with some associations. This is my form of talk therapy. Some dreams are big dreams while others are small dreams. Maybe these last dreams are simply copper or gold-painted copper as I try to embellish them for my blog. The bracelets look like antique jewelry pieces from the middle East, and of course, not refined, and very rustic works of metal. It actually looked like copper. They looked so “commoditized” that they were packed in little plastic bags.

I think this interpretation is not far away from what I’m feeling. I feel that a money or hustle orientation kills my authenticity, and my peaceful/centered mood. I also only have $5,000 in the dream, which is exactly what I have on a crypto exchange at the moment, and I’m afraid to make any investment moves because I’m constrained by money, and time. When I think about money, I feel very limited, even when I have plenty of it.

Why would the sign say “careful with the edge”? Well, what’s on the edge is a platform that lifts. So, maybe I’m pushing my luck too much that my unconscious is also warning me against ego inflation and other dangers. I do not know for sure.

So, the sales person keeps talking on the phone, but I made my decision of not buying. I go in the backseat of the car. My car probably represents myself, my worldview, and I encounter my girlfriend (an anima representation) in the passengers seat, while she sees how I end the conversation with the salesman over the phone. Is there anyone in the driver’s seat? There must be, given that I’m getting ready to go somewhere. So, both my Anima and Shadow are leading me, that is, moving me unconsciously. Am I not the one in charge? The ego wanted to explore the “marketplace” when he could, but could not find anything of value, so he returns, yet does not know where this driver will take him?

As suggested by the psychology literature, I cannot just “ignore” my unconscious aspects of my personality. I cannot just “ignore” that I have resentment with people in my past, that I feel like what I have to offer is “cheap” in the market place. I need to find a way to harmonize them, and giving them their due. The characters: The Used-Car Salesman, and The Frustrated Engineer Student… they both live in me.

Perhaps further dreams will help.

For now, the only item of value in these dreams may be my work of art. It is red, initially, signifying the first step of alchemical process (also my wound, bloody), yet, the beginning of the next step represented by the yellow and the green may represent my attempts at the further step. However, my processing the red is half complete. Half my painting still looks nasty. The other half started to feel quite more harmonized. Showing this art to the world, in my case, to my ex-classmates would be social suicide because they would definitely think I’m crazy. S would not, as long as it makes me money (which is my marketeering orientation); however, this orientation only debases my work. Though helpful, it won’t help me hide from my feelings of inadequacy that need to be solved somehow, but not with the marketeering orientation.

Enough of this for now.